sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

(via datsenseofhumor)

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bird0fhermes:

I’m crying oh my fucking god

sherrocked:

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.

(Source: amovible, via datsenseofhumor)

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You don’t miss me.
I should remember that.
I should fucking remember that.
a.s., baby, what did i do (via sincerelyhappines)

(Source: mossyribs, via stay-classy-fuckers)

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One day I just woke up and realized that I can’t touch yesterday. So why the heck was I letting it touch me? Steve Maraboli (via perfect)

(Source: psych-facts, via stay-classy-fuckers)

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  • *friend sees me drunk and leaning on the wall*
  • friend: you good?
  • *i look up slowly*
  • me: are YOU GOOD?! shit im just chillin
whitegirlsaintshit:

You went to Olive Garden and got that baby some chicken strips and had the nerve to talk about some “nice dinner”. That’s why she actin a fool
Surround yourself with people who have dreams, desire and ambition; they will help you push for and realise your own. Unknown (via sighes)

(Source: ohteenscanrelate, via sighes)

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Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed.   (via disorder)

(via thatgwenchick)

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